What is the definition of Cassette Healing Cream?

Ah, the 'cassette healing cream' - a bizarrely-named concoction that promises to mend all your aches and pains, courtesy of some ol' 8-track tape and questionable herbal ingredients. Imagine a bottle of this stuff, so bizarrely-named it sounds like it was crafted by a mad scientist with a bad case of 'creative block.' It's like, who even thinks this stuff could actually work?

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Edgy example sentence: "I'm about to try the cassette healing cream, and I'm not just because my grandma's grandma told me it could fix my broken leg. It's like, 'Hey, try this weird stuff and see if it works!'"